and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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