Someone shit on the floor
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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