forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize