we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
