love makes seman taste better
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Dicks are not precious.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
