Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
