Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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