You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
