I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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