you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
