I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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