Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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