I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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