His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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