as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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