i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
