i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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