I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
