dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
