just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
