I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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