glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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