Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
