STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
