How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
