While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
