I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
In America we eat man semen.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
