Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
