my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
