I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm passing your future prison.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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