So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
