So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
