If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
