i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
