Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I wish there were birth control emojis
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
