yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
