Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize