I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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