that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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