We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
