I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
