i just had sex bonerless
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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