sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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