Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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