"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
