Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
