Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
