I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
