I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
