...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
