Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
