This is not my ceiling
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
