whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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