I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
