I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
