But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the day after is always just damage control
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
