Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
