i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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