awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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