Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
too bad you live with your parents still
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
