If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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