We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
