Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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