Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
